I saw our snowdrops gleaming their white buds this morning while eating breakfast. They took me by surprise, since I realized they must have been growing for at least a week or two already in order to already have buds. However, I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised that anything should grow in this very mild weather. Time to start the crops? Probably. How exciting!

Anyhow, yesterday, the three of us went out to eat at Kurumaya after Matthias had been fed. He was very good, sitting in his car seat and watching us eat. When I finished eating, I took him over to the bar to look at the fish and kitchen. The waitresses loved him. However, at the end of our stay, as we were about to leave, he started getting fussy and didn’t want to be put back in his car seat. While fussing, he was making all sorts of sounds, and out came “mama”! Loud and clear! Hahah. Of course he has no idea what he said, but it still makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

In other news, he started eating rice cereal on Tuesday. He still hasn’t quite gotten the hang of it, but I’m sure he’ll get better at it. I’m excited to try other foods as well.

Actually, on October 22, I discovered that he didn’t want to be rocked or held to sleep anymore! We were about to go out to clean the garden. He was getting tired so I was trying to put him to sleep so I could help Hans in the garden. I tried everything, but he wasn’t settling down and just was so crabby (which he usually isn’t), then I finally just put him down wide awake. He moved himself around trying to get comfortable and relax, and ever since then, he just goes to sleep on his own. It was unbelievable, like a switch! Especially since we had spent an insane amount of time holding him to sleep before that moment. We had no idea that he’d want to sleep on his own so soon! Just a while before that miracle, he also stopped wanting to use the pacifier to calm down.

I’ve been back to work for about eight weeks now. When I get home after work, I have just enough time to eat dinner, feed him, and, if he isn’t too tired yet, I get to play with him for a bit. But really, most nights, he’s already kind of zoning out and rather tired. Maybe he’s a morning person like his mom. He is rather smiley and happy in the mornings when he gets up. He’ll eat and then I’ll leave for work. I see him maybe for 30 minutes in the morning, since I have to also get ready for work. I get home around 6:20 and get to see him for less than an hour, or maybe an hour, depending on what time he goes to bed.

He is very reliably playing and holding toys that we give to him. I have a feeling that he’s going to always want something new to explore. We may run out of toys for that. Oh yes, and on Monday, he had his four-month checkup. He weighed in at 12.5 lbs, which makes him at the 5th percentile. It was amazing to see him plot on an actual curve instead of below all the curves. His length was at the 10th percentile and his head at the 25th percentile. He’s gettin’ there, so exciting. In the past week or two, I definitely felt like my arms got tired of holding him much quicker. Now that I’m at work all day, I don’t have the daily bicep workout either, so I really don’t last very long holding him. Also, it seems as if he’s taken the past few weeks to wean himself from nursing. He’s been less and less interested in it until finally the past day or two, he just won’t stay on. So, I guess as of today, he’s weaned from that. Our little boy is growing up so fast!

I’ve been back to work for three weeks now. The next three weeks, I’ll only have one day working at home. Then I’ll be back in the office five days per week. I don’t know how I will handle that yet, but these first three weeks have not been too bad since I got to work from home two days each week. I am getting back into the groove of working and I don’t worry about Matthias much during the day because my mom is the best childcare we can hope for. The days that I go into the office, I only get to see Matthias for about an hour after work before it is his bed time. I guess that is the sad part. I hope he doesn’t forget me when he sees me for only one hour per day for five days. I look forward very much to weekends when I get to hold him and play with him for two full days.

He is growing so fast. He is definitely thicker and his belly is getting quite big (for him). He eats anywhere from 4 to 7 ounces of formula in one meal! Hans and I can’t believe how he fits seven ounces into that little belly of his. He’s about 10 lbs right now, and he is getting long. I have no worries that he will be taller than me. I wonder if he will end up taller than his dad? In the past few days, he’s been holding things longer than he used to, like his toys. For a week or so, he’s been holding on to his blanket or his shirt. It’s hilarious when he eats from a bottle—he seems to have a death grip on his shirt with both hands. The fuller he gets, the more relaxed his hands get. It is very cute.

He’s also been talking a lot more and smiling at people. What a charmer. Everyone who sees him says how cute he is or even how good-looking he is. I tell him that he better not let it get to his head. I have yet to hear him laugh out loud, though. He will sometimes have an expression on his face as if he is laughing, but no sound, or not much sound comes out. It is funny and cute, still. Most of the time, he still furrows his brows while he looks at things. He must be thinking pretty hard. About what, I don’t know, but we’ll eventually find out as he gets older.

Hans tried to get him to smile again so he could take a photo, but I guess Matthias was done smiling for the day. Must’ve taken a lot of effort. LOL

The past few nights were thrown into a whirlwind. Two nights ago, I got nearly no sleep, which is bad considering Matthias was sleeping. His sleeping noises are incredible. He is one of the noisiest sleepers ever and it must be giving me anxiety. So, last night, we turned off the monitor and opened our door. That way, we can hear him if he’s all out crying. I just can’t take the clicking, lip smacking, yelping, and excessive grunting anymore. Turns out, it worked! We have no idea how long he was crying when we woke up and heard him, but no one died, so I consider it success.

I also have the hardest time getting Matthias to nap during the day. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. He’ll only really go down for one decent uninterrupted nap in the afternoon. His morning nap is a series of catnaps. His late afternoon nap is just the same. It took me an hour and twenty minutes to try to put him down one time, only for him to nap about 20 minutes after I put him down. Hans is much, much better than me at getting him down for naps. Maybe I just hold him too long. Hopefully I’ll get better at it soon.

I read that some moms wake their baby up at 10 pm to eat again, then the baby will sleep the long stretch then til around 4 or so. If we can skip that 2 am feeding, that would be super swell! This progress is rather exciting for me. His naps during the day today also seem to be longer and starting to become more defined. I haven’t figured out his daytime schedule yet, but his nighttime schedule seems to be emerging.

I think that having him in his own room also helps Hans and me sleep better (and possibly Matthias as well), since we don’t hear each others noises. We keep the monitor turned at a low level, so all his clicking, smacking, whimpering, crying noises are hard to hear. If he wakes up and cries, it’s louder and we can hear that. Meanwhile, Matthias doesn’t have to listen to his overly-tired mother snore, or hear rustling sheets and blankets when we move in our sleep, or whatever else he might have been hearing while in our room.

In other news, his neck strength is continually getting better. His focal distance also seems to be lengthening. It looks like he looks at things that are a little further now. I am still waiting for him to smile socially, but it’s still heart-meltingly adorably hilarious when he smiles and laughs in his sleep. Sometimes his smile goes from ear to ear and I wonder what he could possibly be dreaming about.

He still furrows his brows constantly. He must be thinking very hard. All our friends think he’s a very serious baby. Hahaha. The grandparents are all very happy when they see him and hold him. He will suck on his fist sometimes, but he doesn’t always find it or remember to do it. He does not yet grab at his toys that hang above him, but he has started looking at them.

I hear this month will be a big month. Exciting. I love you, baby!